Dabbler ♥'s His Job. (Kinda.)

My recent attempt at songwriting seems to have struck a chord, so to speak, with my audience; suddenly I am receiving all kinds of attention and comments, ranging from a pastry chef in Wisconsin, to a creatively weary New Yorker, to the mighty Assistant/Atlas of Hollywood. I am simultaneously thrilled and apprehensive about the response; I knew that poking fun at my job, even in a joking way, had its risks… After I posted The Agency Blues I showed it to a fellow assistant at the agency, a man whose opinion I trust, and watched him blanch as he read it. After he was done, he gave me a look and said tactfully, “It’s a little… angry, isn’t it?” Uh-oh. There is now the remote possibility that my sudden blip of blogging fame may have some previously unforeseen consequences, should word continue to spread (i.e., me getting fired from the agency before I can quit).

In light of this new development, I have decided to take the time to point out some of the positive aspects of working in an agency, in order to mollify any injured fellow assistants and encourage future sharks in suits to take the plunge, as well as to unabashedly cover my ass. And yes, there are positive aspects.

Benefits of being a talent agency assistant include: it is The perfect entry-level job to transition to anywhere else in the entertainment industry; having the opportunity to mix with famous people on an almost daily basis (by "mix with" I of course mean "fetch their low-fat, no-sugar, iced mocha latte"); receiving advance notice on the best new movies and shows coming out; and, perhaps most importantly, attractive actresses are more likely to sleep with you. Out of all of these, the first on the list is - in my opinion - the biggest reason why anyone headed to Hollywood should strongly consider applying to become an assistant at an agency. Whether you want to eventually become an agent, producer, executive, director, or writer, the job experience is invaluable, as working for Hollywood’s middlemen exposes you to a generous portion of the inner workings and important names of the business. Finally, for all the crap agents get in this town (and on this blog), if you get yourself a good one, one who really believes in his/her clients and will fight to get them what they deserve, you've got the best ally you could ever possibly have... doing all kinds of things for you that you'd really rather not know about.

Now, all that being said, I do not wish to retract anything I wrote in The Agency Blues. I got the blues, and I got them bad. It is time for me to take a breather from Hollywood, to rejuvenate my creative drive and ambitions, and gain some more experience out there in the “real” world. I'm tired of dabbling here -- when I come back I want a definite idea of what I want to be and how I'm going to do it. Who knows? Perhaps I’ll come back wanting to be an agent. Doubtful... but possible.

So, Dear Readers, please read on... your humble Dabbler is not yet done with the land of sun, stars, and sin. And Dear Boss (and Boss’ Boss), please don’t fire me.