Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The Mystery of the Semicolon.

Okay, I will finally admit it: I honestly have no idea how to use this grammatical tool accurately, but I love it. I use it all the time, arbitrarily assigning semicolons to various sentences, feeling my sophistication grow with each alluring symbol planted.

I live in fear of being called out on my inappropriate use of the majestic semicolon, that someone will notice it and realize that I do not even have a grade school-level education in punctuation and grammar. Sure, I may have nearly gone to the National Spelling Bee when I was 11, but I cannot form a proper sentence.

Does anyone know what these things do? I have made an effort to understand them, I really have, reading multiple grammatical texts in my quest for knowledge; however, the result is always the same: upon looking up the definition of semicolons and their uses, I nod knowingly and sagely, close the book with satisfaction, and then immediately forget what the hell it was I just read.

In the end, however, I think I would prefer it if no one spoils the mystery for me. I will sleep more easily at night (The Guy Snoring Above Me notwithstanding) knowing that there is yet a little magic in the world, something I cannot explain.

; ; ;

P.S. The one instance in which I used the sensual semicolon in this post is appropriate. I cheated because I wanted to impress you.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel the pain of semicolons too, you're not alone =)lol

-Ilene NYC /little-latin-lady/

Anonymous said...

I love your phrase "the majestic semicolon"! I agree that mysteries are better left unspoiled and that the world is better off with a little magic in it. You mentioned sleeping easily at night, but my understanding is that punctuation marks themselves are terrorized by recurrent nightmares.

Dino said...

sorry I can't help you because I don't know and don't use it.